💞 What is sensuality?
Sensuality is the awareness, acceptance, and enjoyment of your own body and/or the bodies of others. Included in sensuality are fantasy, body image (how you feel about your body, which influences how and when you allow yourself to experience touch, sexual and otherwise), and skin hunger (the need for physical touch). Everyone has a different level of skin hunger, which is more than fine! Not all bodies crave the same type, duration, and frequency of touch. Sensuality allows for pleasure and includes smell, touch, taste, sight, and sound.
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It is common to exclaim that dating is motivated by physical attraction. Although our distinctive natural smells are the primary attractant, how we look influences who we are attracted to. Pheromones are the names for the smells. They appear to exist in every animal.
Pheromones are extremely potent chemicals that produce an irresistible and enticing combination of conscious and subconscious scents that spontaneously draw animals, including lovers, together. Few are able to resist the highly charged arousal of these ravenous pheromones, which bind to one another. When the pheromone attraction exists, it is usually mutual.
🫣 What is the big O exactly?
An orgasm is an uncontrollable contraction of the vaginal wall, penis muscles, and anus that can produce a pleasant "release" sensation. Orgasms typically last between 10 and 50 seconds. According to research, people who have a vagina typically have longer orgasms than people who have a penis. An orgasm can feel like nothing at all—like a plateau but with no additional pleasure—or like an intense whole-body wave of pleasure.
Do you fake orgasms? If this is the case, you belong to the 59% of women and 25% of men who either do it or have done it in the past.
🤔 What Influences Sexual Satisfaction?
Research has outlined a number of factors that can influence satisfaction. Some of the key indicators (in no particular order) include:
🌿Feeling sexually desired/desirable by a partner
🌿General mental health (namely anxiety and depression)
🌿Overall relationship satisfaction which can include trust, openness, emotional connection and stability
🌿Understanding of your pleasure, and what you want/need sexually, as well as understanding a partner(s) needs
🌿Sexual performance and/or functioning concerns (this can include erection, ejaculation, pain etc)
🌿Variety - this can include trying new things, not always following the same 'sexual script'
🌿Physical enjoyment - pleasure, orgasm (although not exclusively) and the absence of pain
🌿Open communication with sexual partner(s) about sex, desire and pleasure
🌿Frequency - although important to note that the quality of the experience is more important than quantity, in overall sexual satisfaction
🌿Body image - poor body image can result in difficulties remaining present sexually, and can mean we get stuck in our heads thinking about how we look during sex
🌿Confidence that we are doing it 'right' (this can link to our learned beliefs about sex being performative and like we see in traditional pornography, which is highly unrealistic.. remember porn is entertainment)
🌿Expectations and pressures on frequency, performance. Placing pressure or expectation on a sexual activity works against our internal desire and arousal process, and can result in sexual anxiety, fear, avoidance and pain.
Have you ever asked yourself the following question: What are my goals regarding sex (i.e. intimacy, connection, emotional regulation, stress relief, etc.)? Is my partner aware of those goals and work to help me achieve them?
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There's a reason why mindfulness is called a practice. We have more chances to learn and grow the more often we participate in the practice. We train ourselves to appreciate the power of living in the present by taking a moment to slow down and intentionally reflect on our lives.
For at least a week, I encourage you to incorporate a daily practice. Maybe you have your own thoughts or novel approaches to consolidating a care practice that are a superior fit for you? Take it on. Run with them. Please let me know how it goes; What are you thoughts?
Have a topic you would like me to address or talk about? Feel free to comment below👇🏼 or send me a DM 📩 this is a safe space to talk all subjects even the uncomfortable ones 🫶🏻
Breaking news: indecisiveness is out, and direct communication is in! 📣🚫🔄 Dive into crystal clear waters with your partner by being upfront about what you want! 🏊♀️💦💙 Not only does it help you both understand each other better, but it also cuts down on unnecessary arguments. Need some inspo? Try these tips:
1️⃣ Rehearse your statement in the mirror 🪞
2️⃣ Use "I" statements for ownership 🗣️
3️⃣ Be open to feedback 🔄
4️⃣ Stay specific and avoid generalizations 🎯
So next time your partner asks what you want for dinner, avoid the classic "I don't know, you pick" and confidently say "sushi!" 🍣🥢✨💕 #CoupleGoals #CommunicationIsKey #NoMoreGuessingGames"
💞What is energetic love?
It's within our reach to experience it at its greatest potential. Energetic Love is an act, not a result - so muster up some energy and show that special someone how much you care! With energetic love in your life, every day can be enchanted by the transformative nature of relationships.
To truly make our love come alive, we need to nurture it with knowledge of ourselves and our partners. We also have to remember that loving takes effort - as if powered by an energy source! It requires us to give something back: be that mentally, physically or spiritually. Unpowered love may not get too far; but when you bring the heat... nothing can stop your flame!
How do you practice Energetic Love? Feel free to share your ideas below!
Have a topic or uncomfortable subject you would like me to discuss? I would be happy to talk about it. Comment below or send me a DM. This is a safe and confidential space 🥰🫶🏻
❣️ Tip 5 of 5 ways to engage in Sexual Self-Care
Get out there and explore! With sexual education severely lacking, many people feel ashamed of their desires. The best way to kick shame in the butt? Let your experiences become a source for connection with trusted your partner-don’t be shy about sharing what you learn along the journey. Find strength through self-care as well as support amongst those who will uplift and appreciate you. So come on, it's time to get curious; go forth and share all that sexy knowledge!
🫶🏻Tip 4 of 5 ways to engage in Sexual Self-Care
It's time to let go of the same old routine and mix up your sex life! Experimenting with different touches, textures, pressures - as well as slowing down instead of frantically rushing through it all – can turn self-care into something truly special. Picture yourself composing a musical masterpiece: every aspect carefully crafted until you've created an unforgettable experience that lets you explore and appreciate each moment just like any hit song would. This is YOUR creation so don't forget to give yourself permission for artistic greatness! 🍑👣💦
Tip 3 of 5 for ways to engage in Sexual Self Care 🫶🏻
Harness the power of scheduling and maximize your sexytime with all sorts of exciting activities! Sure, it may seem a bit unspontaneous at first, but if sex is important to you then why not make sure that time in your life feels special? Imagine planning an intimate date night where you can be emotionally prepared for anything. Or maybe schedule some sweet solo play sessions—it’s OK to carve out “me” time every now and again, but be sure you don’t neglect your partner, relationships always need “WE” time to thrive. Whichever way you go about it, making space on your calendar can add up to maximum pleasure 🔥
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Tip 2 of 5 ways to engage in sexual self care ❤️🔥 Pampering is the ultimate confidence boost! Spice up your routine by ‘mane-taining’ those locks, resurfacing that skin with a scrub sesh and giving yourself an oh-so sensual massage. Get off to a great start – show some love to your hands, feet, AND scalp… then go wherever you dare!
Tip 1 of 5 ways to engage in sexual self care. 💞 Connect with yourself in ways that go beyond the bedroom. Taking care of your body - like tuning an instrument to get it just right! - is essential for cultivating sensuality and presence throughout all aspects of life. Release those creative juices through daily movements, dancing to your favorite song(s), stretching, yoga or pilates: however feels best for you. Nourish not only mind and soul but also delicious physicality too! #HappyHumpDay 🍑🍈🍈
Q&A Thanks for your inbox questions I absolutely LOVE them ! Feel free to ask questions via comments as well. I am happy to answer any that you have via inbox, video, or on the newsfeed. Education is important. when you know better, you can be better.
👉🏻 7 reasons you as an individual or as a couple might go to sex therapy 🥰👇🏼
1. The Two of You Are Bored Sexually
2. You Have Difficulty Achieving Orgasm or Arousal
3. You’re Processing Sexual Trauma
4.You Think You Might Have Sexual Disorders or Dysfunctions
5. You’re Coping with a Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI)
6. You’re Dealing with LGBTQ Issues
7. You Just Want to Talk About Basic Relationship Issues
Feeling close to someone can make your world brighter and less lonely, but it's not always easy when we're scared of getting hurt. Anxiety about intimacy is a common topic in therapy chatrooms - abandonment issues (fear the other will leave), fear of rejection (worrying that you might be rejected once others learn who you really are), control problems (the idea of losing independence by being intimate) or even past abuse from childhood experience may all play their part in making us hesitant to open up fully with another person. But if we take our time, slowly building trust and working on those anxieties together, an incredible connection awaits! If you recognize that you or a loved one is struggling to make emotional connections it might be a good idea to seek support if it is taking a toll on you and your mental health. Feel free to reach out via my DM for suggestions and support.
Check out my mental health and wellness blog for more articles and you can also subscribe to my email list for my soon to be launched newsletter 👉🏻 RealElizaJayne.com
Intimacy in a romantic relationship is the foundation of any great connection - it's like building your own little bubble filled with love and understanding. It takes effort to break through those walls, but if you can do so together with patience, communication and dedication then two hearts will join as one for an even better bond! So how close are you?
The last two forms of intimacy are..
Intellectual Intimacy - the joy of a stimulating debate where both people are free to express their thoughts - no matter how different or controversial. That's what sparks sexy conversations and connections that go beyond physical intimacy!
Sexual Intimacy, on the other hand, is an unforgettable sensual experience between two lovers who know each others’ desires like nobody else does.
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❤️Here are 2 of the 4 types of intimacy.
Experiential Intimacy is all about developing a special kind of bond through leisure activities, like when father and son ace the construction of that model train in perfect coordination.
Emotional Intimacy goes even deeper; it's when we can open up to people with our deepest secrets without judgement or fear - just like what can happen in a friendship/and or relationship when sharing with a vulnerable part of yourself such a perhaps being bullied or abused when you were younger.
I talk a lot about intimacy, so … What is intimacy?Intimacy is that special spark between two people; be it in a romantic relationship, close friendship, or even family dynamic. It lights the way for meaningful connections and allows us to grow together as social creatures who need interpersonal relationships to thrive! There is four types… this week I will post about all four types 🥰
🍑Carve out time in your calendar for some serious fun and pleasure. Swap those long to-do lists with a few naughty activities — it's all good for the body, mind, soul...and libido! Regular exercise is key not only because you need 🩸 flow down there but also because endorphins are important when getting aroused (not just after). Open yourself up to embracing sexual desire as part of your daily nourishment - start feeling empowered about what turns YOU on and have more satisfying experiences along the way.
🍈🍈You don't need to be a master planner, but make sure you're reserving some time for fun! Put away your obligations and give yourself permission to take an hour each week of pleasure with the one you love. It's all about finding that balance of connection and desire - so get ready for some intentional intimacy!
Having the energy to explore endless possibilities of pleasure in the bedroom is a must! Put down your phone, and get some sweet sleep instead. Recharge yourself each night by taking an hour for relaxation before bedtime so you can be ready to experience new sensations with confidence during those special moments between you & that someone special 💋
Get ready to have some fun! Spice things up between the sheets by being lighthearted and enjoying each other's company. Laugh, joke around, tickle - whatever it takes to get your heart racing as well as getting in the mood for a night of passion.
🍑👣Controlling your own destiny—and preventing potential disappointment in the bedroom! Knowing how much you can handle and when to take a beat is key for making sure that intimacy always stays positive. Being aware of your limitations allows you to create sexual experiences filled with joy, fulfillment, satisfaction... not just hard limits but also pleasure!
Avoid making comparisons to past partners. This can affect your relationship. Make each experience with your partner unique and exciting! Rekindle the fire by setting aside special moments for some sexy time - new memories await you both!
Check out my mental health and wellness blog for more articles and you can also subscribe to my email list for my soon to be launched newsletter 👉🏻 RealElizaJayne.com
